While this isn't an amazing poem, it still has its own little charm. It seems to me, simply due to the mass amounts of descriptions changing at every line, that it's a little hard to follow along and pay attention without simply reading the words but not absorbing them. So unless someone is concentrating on reading, they might not be able to appreciate it fully.
The words you use to rhyme all work well, except in the 2nd paragraph where 'stream' and 'steam' are used. I think the words are a little too similar and it just sounds a little off.
Also in the last paragraph, you repeat sleep in the first and 2nd lines, breaking the nice rhyme with keep. Perhaps replacing the first sleep with another world, like slumber?
The words you use to rhyme all work well, except in the 2nd paragraph where 'stream' and 'steam' are used. I think the words are a little too similar and it just sounds a little off.
Also in the last paragraph, you repeat sleep in the first and 2nd lines, breaking the nice rhyme with keep. Perhaps replacing the first sleep with another world, like slumber?
Very pretty, you always do have a way with words.