I was looking for spoons in the fridge.

Then it occurred to me. You don’t find spoons in the fridge. They’re in the microwave!

There weren’t any spoons there either though. I gave up and decided to eat my cornflakes with a fork when all of a sudden, I find those bastard spoons, curled up next to the forks! Those little suckers had been hiding out there all along!

I grabbed one and dug it into the corn flakes, telling it I hoped it liked milk. It sort of sounded like the beetle husks I would sweep up from beneath the couch.

I walked into the living room. The cat had puked on the foot stool again. I decided to ignore it and let my room mate clean it up. It’s her cat anyway.

There was nothing on the TV. Just stupid morning talk shows where everybody is hyped up on more caffeine than an asian palm civet. Look it up.

I realized my cornflakes were soggy and I didn’t really feel like eating mush. I just left the bowl there and went back into the kitchen. I grabbed a clean bowl from the cupboard and filled it with fresh cornflakes.

I stood there. I looked around. I needed something else. But what?

I opened the fridge and started looking for spoons.